E a T . R I g H t   ..

 WE CARE ABOUT YOUR ASS AND WANT YOU TO EAT RIGHT

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Welcome to Do Right Cafe, the Internet's healthiest lunch spot.  It's so healthy, you'll grow bean sprouts instead of nose hairs.

 

 

HEALTHY LUNCH

You're minutes away from a healthy lunch.  Just complete the order form and submit it.  We'll do the rest!  That's right, we'll do all of the the following just for you: 1) based on the information you submit, WE'LL figure out what WE think you should have for lunch,  2) we'll skillfully prepare your lunch,  3) we'll carefully pack your lunch, and 4) Shorty our delivery guy will deliver your lunch.  It'll be a treat you'll remember-- something different, a WONDERFUL HEALTHY LUNCH!  By the way, this page is supported by advertising, so lunch is on us.  Now, please get things started by filling out the order form.

Please give us a little personal information:

First Name

Do you eat like a pig? (Yes, No, Maybe)

Do you Rumba like a pig? (Yes, No, Maybe) 

Sex

Male Female

Height in feet or IQ

Weight or Zip Code

Hair Color

Color of that bad bruise you're hiding

Please tell us the mood you're in  (this will help us decide what you should eat):

Lunch Mood 

Please choose condiments for your lunch:

Qty

 Condiment

 Salt

 Pepper

 Healthy Mustard

 Deep Woods Off

 Fancy Sauce

 

PLEASE DOUBLE CHECK YOUR ORDER FORM & SUBMIT HERE

Thank-you for ordering your lunch from Do Right Cafe, the Internet's healthiest lunch spot.  Now,  just a word or two about Shorty, our delivery guy.  First of all,  there's no need to tip Shorty, he's well paid.  Second, contrary to any rumors you may have heard, he doesn't unwrap food and "inspect" it.  Third, if he starts talking about his parrot he'll never shut-up.  And lastly, don't blame Shorty if you didn't think to request fancy sauce.

CHECK ORDER STATUS

Damn, it's a good thing you checked your order status.  Based on the information you submitted, WE CAN NOT IN GOOD CONSCIENCE PROVIDE YOU LUNCH.  We firmly believe you should skip lunch-- not only today but for the next eighteen months.  Now go do something healthy like some jumping jacks.   Top

 

Updated 12/29/03

 

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